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It’s just a manner of time before the Coast Guard ferrets out these faceless pranksters who cry wolf over Channel 16, the safety and distress frequency. This year, alone, 18 false Mayday calls to Group Grand Haven’s Operations Center have found Coast Guard units needlessly scrambling only to be recalled after undertaking fruitless searches.

Group Grand Haven Coast Guard boats and aircraft have logged well over 40 hours on these searches thus far this year, at a cost of $50,000. Worse yet, while Coast Guard rescuers needlessly search, those in real need of Coast Guard assistance could go without. That’s outrageous. We have this remarkable rescue response system in place and it’s being toyed with.

And it’s not just the Coast Guard who are outraged, but boaters as well. Those I talk with speak harshly of wolf-crying pranksters. And well boaters should: their tax money is being squandered, their safety jeopardized, and their maritime values violated. Those boaters who share these concerns can play a key role in stopping hoax calls: call the Coast Guard if you possess information that will lead to the apprehension of a hoaxer.

Believe me, we will prosecute them. I’ve often said the Coast Guard is a wonderfully benevolent organization, but watch out when it is duly provoked. These hoax calls have provoked them to the limit. This isn’t just a local Coast Guard grievance either. Admiral McGowan, Commander Ninth Coast Guard District, will extend the full arm of the law to bring pranksters before the court.

Not for one second should hoaxers consider these idle threats. The Coast Guard has at hand government attorneys; those facing charges may incur costly attorney fees defending themselves against Uncle Sam’s legal legends. The Coast Guard, with aid from the FBI, can identify voice tones much like finger prints. Every hoax call made to the Coast Guard for help is recorded. A match in voices of a suspected prankster will go a long way toward a conviction. Also, the Coast Guard has radio directional equipment, including its aircraft, that can pinpoint the caller’s source.

The best means, however, of detecting pranksters is information provided by the public. There’s no doubt in my military mind that someone reading this column possess information about a hoaxer. If you’re reluctant to call consider this.

There’s one attribute Coast Guard people have in common and that is a deep commitment to assist mariners in distress. This genetic-like instinct has been passed down through a great maritime heritage here on the Great Lakes. Oh, complain they might about the station life, long hours, and low pay, but few, if any, would hesitate to respond when the rescue bell sounds. They endure much for that moment. To answer it in vain, to run before the storm, to risk their life to aid another, only to find their efforts the play of some prankster offends them deeply and it should you also. So, who would toy with such a commitment and who amongst us would fail to ferret out such a prankster? Would you not? Boat Smart- do the right thing: give us a call at (616) 850 2501.