  High Res Photo Ending up on the rocks could well have been the fate of five ladies who were recently tossed keys to a 30-foot powerboat. The gals had never before operated a powerboat. Fortunately for them their maiden voyage turned into a Keystone Kops guffaw rather than Die-Hard disaster. See attached story. Photo: Courtesy Coast Guard Station Muskegon, Michigan. A boat key is hardly a qualification to operate a My boating lecture "Boat Stupid Tricks, Laugh or Weep", has raised many eyebrows regarding the free-for-all world of recreational boating. . At the outset of the lecture, I stress that I do not make up the stories regarding the prevalence of less than smart boating behavior. After all, when the only qualification a power boater needs is a boat key, is it any wonder that boat-stupid tricks ensue? As with a recent boat-stupid trick that featured five ladies in a Keystone Kops like guffaw. By itself it's hilarious, but for nearby boaters it proved to be anything but. Tina Kelsey, who attended my Strictly Sail Boat-Stupid Tricks lecture in Chicago in February, recently sent me the following account of her ordeal featuring the lady Keystone Kops. Tina and her husband, Bill, hail from Ohio where they keep their 36-foot Benateau sailboat at Harbor Park Marine, Lake Erie. The Kelseys were not present when the Keystone gals boarded a 30-foot powerboat moored in a slip adjacent to their boat. Their absence may have been a blessing in disguise for had they been present they may have experienced heart failure. A number of boaters who share the marina with the Kelseys provided a collective account of the mischief. On August 16, 2008, five ladies showed up at Harbor Park Marina in mid afternoon. Nearby boaters paid little attention as the ladies boarded the 30-foot powerboat. The owner of the boat was not present. Reportedly, he had provided the ladies with a key to the boat while urging them to take the boat out and enjoy it. The gals later confessed they had never operated a boat. The owner told them that there was nothing to it; go ahead and take it out, he insisted. So as the ladies gathered on the boat, those in nearby boats figured the gals were aboard to sunbathe. Not so, as the 30-foot powerboat roared to life. According to dock-side witnesses, a gal at the helm backed down the boat from the slip at a fair rate of speed. The boat's bow anchor snagged the starboard stanchion of the Kelsey's 36-foot sailboat. The vertical stanchion supports lifelines. The boat continued to back down. Wham! The anchor flipped off it rollers at the pulpit freeing it from the stanchion. The boat continued to back down, heading directly for a 25-foot powerboat moored alongside a seawall across the channel. The owner of the powerboat manned the side and fended off the boat. He and other boaters hollered out to shut off the engine. Instead, the gal driving the boat engaged the throttle, sending the boat back across the channel. The owner of a 36-foot Viking powerboat stood ready as she bore down on his boat. A rubber dingy at the stern took the initial impact, squeezing it flat. The owner shoved off the boat, sending it back into the channel. Apparently determined to take the boat out, she turned the boat toward the channel. The maneuver caught a vertical dock pilling, which snapped off, sending the boat in a circle back towards the Kelseys' 36-foot sailboat. A boater in an adjacent slip jumped aboard the Kelseys' boat and fended off the powerboat. By now, a large gathering of boaters were hollering to shut off the engine, which she finally did. A pack of disgruntled boaters man-handled the boat back in to its slip. True to Keystone Kop form, the gals attempted to flee the scene only to be apprehended as a throng of boaters surrounded their car, preventing their escape. In all due respect to the gals, the real culprit is the dimwit who tossed them the boat keys. But even more the culprit are those who resist regulations that would prevent someone from just stepping aboard a powerboat and "taking it out" without a clue as to how to operate it. Is it unusual? Hardly, considering the millions of power boaters who have been tossed keys without the benefit of boating education. Such a cavalier approach to recreational boating has led to thousands of boating fatalities, injuries and millions in property loss. The key to ending this Keystone Kops' continuum is mandatory boating education, which I pray, will someday come to pass. Until then be smart by learning to boat smart before being tossed the keys. For information on boating safety classes and how to learn to boat smart, visit my website, www.boatsmart.net.. Under Boating Safety click on USSG Auxiliary or US Power Squadron for boating classes. Tom Rau is a retired 27-year Coast Guard veteran, boating safety columnist, and author of Boat Smart Chronicles, Lake Michigan Devours Its Wounded. His book is a 20-year journal of recreational boating mishaps with valuable lessons learned. It, along with recent rescue stories, can be viewed at: www.boatsmart.net Group
Grand Haven | USCG
Office of Boating Safety
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